Brian Z. (2011 Winner)

Meet our reigning Mr. BBQ King, Brian "The Woolly Wind Sock" Z!

After roasting the competition last year, this gristled veteran is ready to defend his crown against any and all comers! With his dashing good looks, plus sized designer Snuggie(tm) cape, and the grip of a five year old girl upon his scepter of meat, the mighty Wind Sock will fight like an inebriated albino gastropod to keep the crown atop his glistening brow!

 Contestant #2 – Tommy D. (2011 Contestant)

 With the crown up for grabs, Mr. BBQ hopeful Tommy "Wax Lips" Duncan has one thing on his mind: Jello Shooters. But right behind that thought is his unquenchable desire to don the crown and ascend to the utmost echelon  reserved for those who have won the hearts, and stomachs, of the little people. Well, at least hungry people. Armed with a confidence bordering on certifiable dementia, Wax Lips won't settle for runner up! That is, unless the runner up prize happens to be a lifetime supply of Jelly Bellies.  "You can never have too many Bellies" is Tommy's motto. That and "Exercise if for the weak".   And Tommy is anything but weak! Unless you count his two artificial  knees. His last pair were the victim of a back-alley round of extreme Hacky Sack that he'd rather not talk about. So look out, your majesty, Tommy's hungry for the crown, and as you can tell from his photo, Tommy's hunger is never denied!

Contestant #3 – David R. (2011 Contestant)

David "The Dr. Suess" Reyes has a PHD in BBQ! As you can tell from his photo, David has seen some tough times during his 52 years on this Earth. He has managed to cope by eating nothing but cold hot dogs and ranch dressing, and only buys used clothing from friends.  Of which he only has one and calls him Skippy. He lost his short term memory in a freak Q-Tip accident and had “Skippy” tattooed on the back of his thigh so he can't forget his name. David is ready to start a new chapter in his life by trading in his doctorate for a crown and...wait. Hold on. I've just been informed that the actual contestant in the photo is not in fact the bright yellow individual sitting on the pile of stripped pillows, but rather the pillows themselves.  We don't know anything about that guy, but I'm sure he'll make a great King of BBQ!

Contestant #4 – Esteban C. (2011 Contestant)

Esteban Cueto, french for 'communicable shower fungus', has trained his entire life for this contest. By eating nothing but meat from the distant four corners of Los Angeles, Esteban has conditioned his palate to detect only the finest cuts of meat (his favorite being pimento loaf), the most delicate sauces and rubs (he likes salt on his salt), and exotic woods used during smoking (he likes the wood known as 'microwave'). To make ends meet until he rules all with a ham fist as BBQ King, Esteban juggles kittens and cries at sad movies between his real money-maker: dancing on stage. But even this is not without its cost. During his time dancing onstage as an MC Hammer look-a-like, Esteban lost his one and only shirt during an extreme pirouette that tore the very threads from his torso and eyebrows from his face. But this sacrifice will not have been in vain once he places King of BQQ crown upon his browless...brow. He dedicates this certain King of BQQ victory to Alfonso, his long lost sheer male blouse.  For Alfonso!!

Contestant #5 – Armando G. (2011 Contestant)

What better place to rest a crown then a place that has already been cleared for the purpose? Armando knows. He also knows it may not be fair to the other contestants to throw his shorn pate into the Majestirial ring of BBQ since he was genetically engineered by scientists to be the perfect carnivore. But Armando is indifferent to their plight. He wants that crown. And for once, he wants something that he doesn't plan to chew through with his genetically enhanced, unbreakable and razor sharp teeth. His desire is to be the people's perfect BBQ King! With his X-ray eyes (to determine the perfectly cooked cuts of meat), six fingers (the others were lost when he was still getting used to his extra sharp teeth), high density skull (shaped in a laboratory specifically to hold a crown), and industrial capacity stomach (his navel even converts to an "outie" to make extra room), Armando will not rest until the people have their perfect King. That King is....ARMANDO!